Bane of Arranged Marriage.

Saw this post in ChennaiOnline. It talks of about a woman conspiring with her lover to kill her newly wed husband during her honey-moon. She did indeed succeed in murdering him, but goes on to confessing about her plot to the police. Now thats what they call as " Love is Blind "....


That brings us to the interesting topic of the bane of arranged marriage.

Dissecting this case, it turns out that this marriage between the girl and her husband was an arranged marriage. Maybe, the girl's parents opined that once her marriage was over, their daughter would forget her lover. Now, was that a neat cover-up by the girl's parents or a lapse of judgement on the part of the boy's parents. Whose is at fault ?

Should have the boy done some investigation into the girl's antecendant to verify her past. Normally, its the other way, where the girl's parents conduct a due-dilligence excercise by verifying the boy's history through various sources. Its akin to the extensive investigation that would ensue before the merging of two companies. No wonder, since its a matter of a partner for life and people dont want to take chances or suffer heart-burns later on....


If its an economic consideration, a love marriage wins hands down since, its normally a low-profile secretive event. I still do not understand the fanfare which accompanies a typical arranged marriage(A.marriage). My small brain is unable to fathom the pride and gala time that characterise any A.marriage. What defeats logic is that in the name of celebration, people have fun and frolic. What's the cause for all this excitement. Is something path-breaking or earth-shattering happening. Why does'nt any wise man speak on this topic. Some parents go all the way out to spend their live's savings for their kids wedding. Another allied prevalent custom still present in some areas with respect to arranged marriages is the concept of Dowry where the girl's parents have to give cart-loads of money supposedly for the maintenance of their girl. If so much money is available, why on earth send her to another house. She can continue as usual at her parents place.. What significant difference does a husband bring into such a girl's life ?

I think I would reserve this discussion for another post...

coming back to the original discussion, it would be interesting to know the mindset of parents who contemplate arranging life-partners for their kids. How do they know what is suitable for their kids ? Is it that they get a gut feeling on seeing the prospective partner as the right match for their ward.How much time do they give to arrive at this conclusion. Are the parents competent for doing this. ? The irony is that most parents impose the unfulfilled agenda's of their own personal lives on their children. If they had dreamed to become a doctor and could not become one, they drive their kids to become one (This is still prevalent atleast in India. Becoming a doctor is genetically imbibed in their children's genes !!!).
Yes, everything is done with the good intention that their kids should outbeat them in every conceivable sphere of life. Similarly, this agenda also gets imposed when it comes to choosing life-partners.What if some decision's of their's backfires.. Nobody documents them for posterity since the intention behind all these acts are kind of Noble and hence gets rationalized and brushed under the carpet..

Power Of Compounding...

Albert Einstein, besides commenting on a host of other things has also written something about Compounding... He's quoted it to be the Eighth Wonder of this world..

Some of my friends keep quipping about my stingy nature which is totally against all natural instinct and urges which characterise my age.. But I would like to humbly differ in my thought process and strongly believe in the concept of delayed gratification.

Little do they know or rather I would say appreciate the power of this mysterious, but elementary concept of COMPOUNDING..

Consider 2 scenarios here :

Scenario 1 : A person "A" saves 100 dollars every month ever since he's 25 years right through till 35 years ( 10 years in all). Assume the rate of interest for his money is 8 %. After 35 years of age, he does not save a penny and checks out his money when he turns 65. It so happens that this money due to compounding would have grown to around 200,000 dollars.

Scenario 2 : A person "B" saves the same 100 dollars, but starts saving only when he's 35 years old and starts saving all the way till he turns 65. ( That means, he saves dilligently for 30 long years....). Assuming the same rate of interest as the previous case. Now what is the total sum of money when he turns 65 ?? It turns out to be close to 150, 000 dollars. Additionally Mr B has also contributed 24,000 dollars more than Mr A since he's been contributing for 30 years as opposed to 10 years by Mr A.

So, we have an interesting scenario wherein in spite of contributing less, Mr A's net worth when he turns 65 happens to be a whopping 50,000 dollars more than Mr B.

The secret of Mr A's success has been that he's started to save 10 years earlier than Mr B and that in short is called as " Power of Compounding"... The earlier you start, the better it is..

Additional benefits in the process is the fact that after 35, Mr A does not save even a penny while Mr B has to conciously set aside a portion of his money for savings.

Here's a link to an article from Rediff.com also giving more details and illustrations of the power of Compounding...

This will also pass...

Is happiness desirable ? What about sadness ? Which is better..

Every emotion seeks to move human beings from an equilibrium state to the extremes. Once a pendulum moves to one end, it gains potential energy and hence has to go back to the mean position eventually. This does not require any effort what so-ever by us. It will happen in due course of time in nature..

So, taking life with the principle of " This will also pass " will help us tide both happiness and sadness with equanimity and grace..

JOKE : What will happen if a teacher applies this principle while correcting the answer papers of his students.. Ans : No one will fail. Every student will pass !!!

Life-Cycles...

Being a Hindu by birth, we are taught that there is a concept of life-cycle and hence there is a theory which gets proposed that what gets done in this life ( both good and bad) gets reflected in our next lives. Support for this theory gauges from the observation that while one person is born as the son/daugther of Bill Gates, the richest person in this planet, yet another is born as a beggar in poverty stricken Bangladesh, while some others are born with life-crippling handicaps as physically challenged persons... So,based on our past lives,God decides as to where we need to live our future lives and our current lives, hence is a reflection of our past deeds.

So, everyone is not created EQUAL in this world... but the more important question is , should there be a concerted effort to push for equality ? Will that be against God's wishes ?? Are we going against Nature and his wishes ?

Lets take this issue from another perspective.. Take the food chain..

Organisms lower in the food chain are consumed by those at the top.. What will happen if this is stopped. Say for example snakes decide to become more merciful and stop eating frogs.. The frog population will increase. Now the frogs consume yet another species of organism like insects, lizards. These will reduce in number due to increased frog population...
So, we see that there is a ripple effect creating a significant chaos leading us to the conclusion that everything in nature is pre-ordained and its not in our interest to disturb this equilibrium...

Similarly, are we also right to conclude that its the destiny of some to be born rich and some to be born poor and hence we cannot do much about this divine choice ??

Is that tantamount to being indiffernt or being philosophical in accepting life's reality ??

Nothing Personal about it...

Manytimes, what's good for an individual is not good for society and vice-versa. Let's take a few examples.. Its good for an individual to save a portion of his earnings . But if an entire society or nation starts hoarding its money, then it leads to a recession or economic depression as the case of Japan for the last 15 years since 1990.

Taking other examples from professional spheres, say a particular profession is not economically very remunerative, for example Research Scientists, Teachers, Fire-Fighters, Painters , Army, Government servants. Some of these professions are indeed noble and noteworthy. The society gains a lot from people who sacrifice their personal benefits for public good and hence get adulated as heroes. On the other-hand, CEO's of big Multi-national companies are despised by the general public as " Fat-Cats" and not looked at kindly. In their case, what benefits an individual does not seem to impact society much... In the eyes of the public, the compensation packages of these people at the top are not commensurate with their value.

Listen to your heart...

In this fast paced world, when things are moving at a breakneck speed, it pays to occasionally sit back and take stock of where we are and do any course corrections if needed. This is akin to oiling a machine to overcome wear and tear. This also serves as a check to ensure that we do not end up with a burn-out..

We also are sometimes confused as to whether a particular step that we are taking would be successful or not. .How do we decide ? The answer would be to Listen to your heart...

One song that conveys this best and one of my favorites is " Listen to your heart" by DHT.

Harvard Alumni Article on Global India..

Harvard Article...

Indians Arrive Globallly

This post from the Harvard Alumni Newtork mentions about the sweeping changes transforming India economically.. Link below...

The interesting take is : " Indians are getting to realise that this is a tremendous chance to not let loose of and catapult India onto the top. Its too close to reality and the miss from now on could turn out very costly ".. The only hitch according to me is the political machinery and I do pray that they do not throw a spanner in the works.. " Other issues also linked politically that could provide a big hindrance include " Reservation quotas, lopsided and economically nonsensical loans to the farmers, free power, poor infrastructure.

Yes, the social issues associated with sweeping economic changes also need to be tackled in more innovative ways so that it impacts and includes as many people as possible..

Secret of Happy Married Life.....

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. "What a peaceful & loving couple!"

A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse."

We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'."
"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'

"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

"I started an angry protest over her treatment to the horse, while I was shouting; she looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'.

..............and we lived happily ever after."

The Genie and the Woman... Joke...

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes.
The genie said: "I'm a one-wish-genie. So....what'll it be ?"
The woman did not hesitate. She said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each
other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and America and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."

The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. I'm good but not THAT good! I don't think it can be done. Make another wish and please be
reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for... a good man."

The genie let out a sigh and said.... "Let me see the f***ing map again!"

Occupations and Competitive Advantage

A barber cuts hair. How much does he earn ? At current economic conditions in India, in cities like Chennai, barbers get around Rs 30-50 per haircut.

Now if he decides to improve in life, what can he do ?? An immediate solution which comes to mind is improve his shop, make it air-conditioned, rephrase his work as "Hair-Stylist" and move over to an upmarket area visited by high-class people. By doing all that, he can hope to get Rs 100-200 per hair-cut. That's about it.

Now consider a Dermatologist. He also provides solution for hair problems like Dandruff, Hair-fall etc. But how much does he earn. At current rates, we might end up shelling out not less than Rs 300-400 per appointment. But having visited a dermatologist once, we are not likely to visit him on a sustained basis. So how can the dermatologist hope to get a sustained income ??

He can provide a End-to end Hair Solution by making an arrangement with some Preferred barber, whom he can recommend to his patients for their Hair-cut. Thus, patients who end up at the barber shop due to the doctor's recommendation end up increasing the barber's business and so, the barber has to plough back a portion of his revenue to the doctor. The doctor ends up creating another revenue stream from a totally unconventional source namely the barber.

Other sources of income that can be thought out by the Dermatologist is a tie-up with the preferred pharmacy, preferred medical company for his medicines, shampoos and so on. Thus each one of the channels turns out to be revenue spinners apart from the regular patient clientele.

Becoming a barber does not involve significant investment of money or skillset. So, anyone who has a aptitude for learning can catch up pretty soon. This makes hair-cutting very vulnerable as a occupation. In short they don't have a sustainable competitive advantage. This also explains why they cannot demand exhorbitant rates for their services. This is not so in case of Dermatologist where that profession has a entry barrier in the form of a long education and hence makes it easier for them to jack up their consultation fees.

Merry go-round of money..

Its really funny and amusing to see how money circulates in this world..

Being from a developing country(India) and working in the United States, its a customary ritual for most to send money back home. Now, banks in India accept US dollars and deposit the rupee equalent into your account. Now what do the banks do with the US dollars ?? Well, that money gets siphoned back into the US since that's where the US dollars are needed most ( to fuel the mindless consumption of Americans)

I return, the Indian financial institutions are pledged with worthelss Treasury bills by the US government. ( The interest rates are now becoming sligthly better..)

Now what does the US government do with the US dollars ?, they deposit them in the financial institutions for them to get superior returns. Where does the money got by these financial Institutions go finally.. ha Ha.. To the emerging markets like India again...Because, that's where the the exponential growth and hence returns are generated currently...

that completes the funny merry-go round of money back and forth between the US and the rest of the world.. !!!